Not only am I a pastor’s kid, I’m a pastor’s pastor’s kid since both my dad and grandpa were pastors. Beyond that, I have a great grandfather who was a pastor as well as a great uncle and lots of siblings who have been in ministry in various capacities. That said, I know what it’s like to be a PK, and I’ve established a special kinship with others who are in the same club. As I have gotten to know the children of pastors, one thing I have discovered is that the problems which seem to plague them have a great deal to do with feeling that they play second fiddle to their parents’ involvement in ministry. The lack of attention and interaction in favor of the church can be perceived as hypocrisy on the part of the child, and the resulting psychological wound can drive them to rebellion. As for me, I’m fortunate that I never felt unloved nor did I ever doubt that I was important to my parents and family. I did, however, often feel the pressure of being in the role of PK.
Friend, my point in sharing about my experience being from a pastor’s family is to encourage you to elevate nothing to a role of greater importance than taking care of those the Lord has called you to love, starting in your own home. As Christians, we like to be busy doing God’s work, and that’s not a bad thing; however, the most important thing we have been called to is the work of loving Jesus and then showing His love to our spouse, children, grandchildren and spiritual children. Whenever serving the Savior becomes a form of busy work or pressures you to perform for the sake of maintaining an image, you are in a danger zone, and it’s best to reevaluate. Being a disciple of Jesus begins in your own family and your influence moves out from there. Whatever it requires, make sure your house is in order and that your biological and spiritual offspring know that they are the most important thing in your life!