We’ve been talking about feelings of loneliness and how we tend to feel disconnected from others because we are afraid they will reject the parts of us that are flawed. Consequently, we put on a false front and pretend that we are stronger and more “okay” than we really are. However, I want to tell you resolutely today that pretending is the world’s way, it is not God’s way! Your Heavenly Father gives you permission to come to Him broken, beat up, doubting, hurting, and frustrated and in return, He gives you rest for your soul. He yokes you to His abundant life, and then naturally, with little effort on your part, He fills you with freedom, joy and other eternal treasures your soul needs to thrive.
The sad reality is that when you don’t come to Jesus first in your loneliness, you try to force others to meet your needs in ways that don’t take them into consideration. This often manifests in controlling behaviors. Have you ever had someone practically demand that you spend time with them, but when you do, they stay busy and distracted or act like they really don’t want you there? While that individual recognizes that they need a relationship, they are afraid to truly connect because they fear rejection. As a result, they subconsciously shut people out, which just ends up breeding more feelings of loneliness. From there, such individuals may withdraw to addictions, hobbies or other chronic behaviors that anesthetize the pain of isolation.
Friend, I want you to know that you are lovable just as you are, and that part of living as a disciple of Jesus is taking off your disguise with the people who matter most in your life. Although there is always a risk of rejection, the reward of a true and connected relationship should outweigh the pain of the few who may choose not to accept your whole person. When you are securely grounded in the unconditional love of Jesus, and you allow Him to support and sustain you, you have the courage to allow yourself to be fully seen and deeply known. As you plug into His sufficiency and take to heart the good things He has spoken over your life, you will flourish!