So far, we’ve talked about love not being characterized by enabling, martyrdom, or idolatry. Today, I want to share one final thing that love is not and that’s judgemental. Unfortunately, many people — especially in the church — believe it’s okay to call out or condemn a person’s behavior with the intent of somehow shaming them into doing the right thing. But the reality is that this doesn’t work. Pointing out a person’s failures, flaws, or wrongs without an offer of support will only push them further away from the grace that can truly set them free. While love speaks and rejoices with the truth, when it does so, it also walks alongside. In fact, to amplify a problem without providing the hope of acceptance and the comfort of compassion is actually a means of torment. Grace is truth’s best friend, and the two of them must travel together in order for love to bear good fruit. 

My friend, choose to love others without judgement. While it’s tempting to point out the weaknesses you perceive in those around you, before you do, be sure you’re invested in helping them through their struggles. Be a cheerleader rather than a commentator, and when you see an area that needs improvement, lift that person up in prayer before lifting yourself up as their authority. Yes, it’s important to uphold the Lord’s standards, but let your life preach a sermon before your lips. Take responsibility for yourself rather than finding fault with your neighbors, and the Lord will use the love you share to draw a watching world to a relationship with Himself!