empathy

The Gift of Surrender

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” – Romans 12:18,19 How do you feel about your boss? I’m guessing that a few of you have inspiring, fair and all-around great bosses. I’ve experienced this and wouldn’t you agree it makes a world of difference? When you work at a job with people you admire and whom you enjoy seeing, you are blessed more than most! But what if the opposite is true? How do you handle it if you have authoritarian figures in your life who take advantage of their position and attempt to keep you from carrying out your responsibilities? I’ve had this experience as well. As hard as we may try to

April 2, 2022 No Comments

Present Through the Suffering of Others

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3,4 We discussed yesterday how being present in pain allows us to withstand and learn from our life’s winters. Today, I have one last tip with you that will help you grow and bless others during your wilderness seasons: be present with others in their pain. You have the fantastic opportunity to be present with those who are experiencing their own pain, whether you are now in a winter season or have recently entered spring. Everyone who is going through a difficult moment requires someone to accompany them through the valley. Pain alone is the only thing worse than suffering. Those

January 23, 2022 No Comments

What’s Your Battle?

“Sovereign Lord, my strong deliverer, you shield my head in the day of battle.” – Psalm 140:7 The late actor Robin Williams once paraphrased Plato in saying: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind, always.” And as cliche as this expression sounds, I think it’s important to understand how true it is so that we allow it to shape our interactions with others. The reality is that life is hard, and humanity is struggling with all kinds of issues — some people are just better at hiding it. No one has it all together, and the mistaken belief that they do is what causes many of us to feel alone in our pain. Nevertheless, we’re not flawed because we’re going through stuff, and it’s important to give ourselves grace so we can heal and extend mercy to our fellow brothers and sisters. Nobody

September 28, 2021 No Comments

Hold Others Gently

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2 Henri Nouwen once said that being in a relationship with another person is like holding a bird with broken wings. In other words, we must acknowledge that the human soul is fragile. An injured bird is delicate, and it can’t be grasped too tightly lest it be crushed and hurt further. Likewise, as we attempt to connect with and express care for someone else, we must be gentle. Otherwise, we might squash their spirit and smother them in our attempts to “help.” And while we can’t hold on too tightly, we also can’t be careless with our connections. Like an injured bird will fall and die if not cradled securely, when we refuse to engage emotionally with those closest to us — whether our spouse, our kids, or our friends — our bond is

September 14, 2021 No Comments

Connection Changes Things

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.” – Proverbs 18:1 (NKJV) Emotional isolation stifles the human soul. In fact, the first five months of life are foundational to the health of body, mind, and spirit, because that’s when bonding happens. When, as infants, we internalize the love of our mother or parent figure, we’re equipped to retain a sense of connection later on, even if our guardians are no longer present. The reality of having our emotional needs met enables us to be loving and empathic people who have healthy relationships with others as we grow older. Of course, because we live in a fallen world, many things can go wrong in this process, and a lack of attachment can lead to a host of difficulties trying to build and maintain life-giving bonds. If we’re not regularly internalizing the love of our

August 21, 2021 No Comments

Connection Transforms

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; He rages against all wise judgment.” – Proverbs 18:1 (NKJV) Emotional isolation stifles the human soul. In fact, the first five months of life are foundational to the health of body, mind, and spirit, because that’s when bonding happens. If, as infants, we internalize the love of our mother or parent figure, we’re equipped to retain a sense of connection later on, even when our guardians are no longer present. The reality of having our needs met enables us to be loving and empathic people who have healthy relationships with others as we grow older. Of course, because we live in a fallen world, many things can go wrong in this process, and a lack of attachment can lead to a host of difficulties trying to build and maintain life-giving bonds. If we’re not regularly internalizing the love of our spouse,

August 21, 2021 2 Comments

A Compassionate Touch

“When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.” – Mark 6:34 While there are many words we can use to describe how healing happens in the church, if I were to pick one, it would be compassion. Nearly every time Jesus restored, touched, or taught in the Bible, it says that He had compassion for the people He was helping. In fact, this familiar word literally means to “suffer alongside.” The term passion, which is often used to describe the cross, comes from the french word for suffering, which is pati, and when you add the prefix co, it means to “suffer with.” Truth is, there’s great healing power in offering sympathy and tenderness to an emotionally-wounded neighbor, and since we live in a world that can’t seem to stop

July 30, 2021 No Comments

Acceptance Before Repentance

“All the people saw this and began to mutter, ‘He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.’ But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.’” – Luke 19:7,8 Yesterday, we saw how radical it was that Jesus embraced Zacchaeus, despite the fact that he was a short, crooked tax collector. Even knowing these things, the Lord saw fit to invite Himself over to his house that very day. By extending a hand that said, “I want to get to know you,” He offered a marginalized man a place of belonging, and everything changed. This is because acceptance always precedes repentance. Knowing that he was finally loved for who he was, Zacchaeus’ natural response was to change

May 28, 2021 1 Comment

Surrender the Fight

“God again set a certain day, calling it ‘Today.’ This he did when a long time later he spoke through David, as in the passage already quoted: ‘Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.’” – Hebrews 4:7 I’ve heard stories about soldiers who’ve gone to war, and though they depart from home full of life, vitality, and hope, they return bitter and disillusioned. Fighting for so long — often on the front lines and in the face of death itself — leaves them wounded and unable to let their guard down again. And while most of us haven’t been in this kind of physical combat, the fatigue of fighting is something that we all can relate to. So today, I’m writing to the warriors who are battle-scarred and weary. Life has dealt you a hard blow, and it’s been one thing after another. Maybe it’s losing

April 21, 2021 2 Comments

The Gift of Surrender

Present Through the Suffering of Others

What’s Your Battle?

Hold Others Gently

Connection Changes Things

Connection Transforms

A Compassionate Touch

Acceptance Before Repentance

Surrender the Fight

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