“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

– 1 Corinthians 13:4,5

For the past week, we’ve been talking a lot about types and characteristics of faith, which is the first element in what I call “the triangle of sufficiency.” In other words, there are three things that you and I need to live in the fullness of the Kingdom of God — faith, death to self, and agape love. For the next couple of days, we’re going to look at the last two, death to self and agape love, in more detail because they go together.

Have you ever been annoyed by someone trying to help you or wounded by someone attempting to love you? If you’re like me, there are numerous times when someone trying to help has actually caused harm; at the low end by being annoying, but at the high end by causing long-term woundedness, shame, anger, frustration, bitterness and even unforgiveness. The fact is that sometimes others who legitimately think they are helping us are blind to the fact that their words and efforts are not being received as love

The husband who works extremely long hours says that he loves his wife and kids by laboring obsessively to provide for them. However, most of the time, this is not perceived as love on the part of his wife; she would rather have him around more often and spend quality time with him. Similarly, many times parents say things to their kids, even when they are adults, that they believe is for their benefit, but is actually perceived as controlling, manipulative, or mean. Although they are trying to keep their children from doing something stupid, well-meaning parents can end up expediting their kid’s journey down the road to perdition!

Friend, love always seeks the good of the other person, not its own benefit. When you stop to examine your motives and the emotions that drive your behavior towards those you love, be sure that it is really them that you are trying to help. Sometimes it’s your own fear that causes you to take actions towards another in the name of love. As you embrace the death of your own desires and seek love that is pure, only then can you step into true abundant life!


Jesus, teach me to love from a pure heart and to still my tongue when I am tempted to speak in a way that would wound the soul of another.


Have you been wronged in the name of love, and/or have you wronged others in the same way?

If you’re unable to attend your local church or need some additional weekly inspiration, be sure to tune into Hour of Power every Saturday night at 6:30 p.m. PT on TBN or watch online at  

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One Response

  1. I read this timely message as I struggled with my reaction today. More than once I was easily offended by my teen and more than once spoke negatively towards her causing shame and regret a circling of dysfunction. I consider wounds from childhood and notice I must have bitter roots and, I must still be working to understand Gods love protection and provision. I will take this to the altar again and again until I am free and accepting. Prayers pls

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